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[ For a long moment, Eddie's quiet while he lets Richie muddle through whatever the fuck it is that he's actually trying to say. It becomes clear just before Richie has to come out and actually say it in exactly so many words and Eddie has to take a second to formulate a response. Somehow, he thinks his reflex

I knew it. I fucking knew you were overcompensating with all those jokes about fucking my mom.

seems like an inappropriate response. By, like, a lot. And, by now, Eddie's actually been hit on by a guy who wears skirts while riding floats in the parades winding through Eglaf, so... All in all, Eddie likes to think he's pretty open-minded at this point in his life. ]

It was only my business once you wanted it to be, man. Don't be sorry.

[ Is that an appropriate response? No, probably also not, but it feels kind of important to address Richie's apology first because he doesn't need to give it in the first place. ]

I mean, it's...yeah, okay, so you like dudes.

[ He pauses, considers, nearly reconsiders, and then says it anyway. Fuck it, Rich will probably appreciate the levity. ]

My mom's gonna be really upset when she finds out.

[ A soft huff of amusement escapes him. Jesus, she's probably rolling in her grave by now, but... Well. Hopefully, that'll cut the tension, anyway, and it'll be worth it. ]

Unless you’re working with a very old definition of the word “gay”, yeah, that’s usually what it means.

[It’s funny how Richie’s voice can remain remarkably dry while he’s hiding away in a bathroom at the theater. Why a bathroom? Well, it’s the most private place he could find, and he’s not about to come out of the closet while in a literal closet.

But when he laughs, there’s a wetness clinging to it. Like he really wasn’t sure Eddie would take it well.]

Yeah, she’s gonna be real pissed off I’ve been fucking your dad on the side.

[ In spite of himself, Eddie laughs. It's not funny; both of his parents are dead, but, all the same...it's a little funny. ]

Beep beep, Richie.

[ Taking a sip of his coffee he pauses before continuing. He's not really sure how a conversation like this is supposed to go, but he's pretty confident that it's not supposed to go the way he's steering it. ]

So, do we, like, have a coming-out party now? Is that a thing? I'm pretty sure we already missed Pride month, so it's a little late, but...

[ He's mostly joking but also...maybe not actually joking? How does coming out work?! ]

I don’t know, man, I didn’t exactly try to immerse myself in gay culture. [A cough.] Honestly, this is all-new territory for me. My original pre-clown plan was never to come out at all, but, well.

[Then the clown happened, and it turns out there’s things far worse than dragging his secret back out into the light.]

You know you might be the first person I’ve actually told? The first and last time I came out to someone, we were trapped in a church that was making us hallucinate our worst memories. Didn’t really have much of a choice there. [A breath.] I like this better. Less panicked screaming and terror.

You know, I'm not a big fan of giving It any credit, even when it might be due, but...the shit we went through does kind of put shit in perspective, sometimes, when it's needed.

[ He smiles a little. It's kind of nice to know that, actually. More importantly, it's nice to know that this wasn't scary for Richie. ]

Good, I'm glad. We're good, Rich. Thanks for telling me.

Nothing like almost getting eaten by a killer clown to adjust your perspective, huh?

[It still is terrifying, it’s why he’s hiding in the bathroom—there’s even the faint flush of someone using the toilet a couple stalls away from the one that Richie’s hogging, but. Now he’s out on the other side of it, and he can’t quite believe he was so terrified of telling Eddie. Of course he’d be okay with it. This is Eddie, this is his best friend. Eddie’s going to be on his side in the important shit.

Well. Most of the important shit, anyway.

There’s still things Richie can’t tell him, not yet. The carving on the kissing bridge, the stolen glances throughout their pubescent years, the fact that easily 80% of the guys Richie’s ever been with have fallen into something of a Type. Those, Richie will keep to himself for now. Baby steps, after all.]

Great. ‘Cause I was also gonna tell you, I’m marrying your dad in the fall. He treats me so damn well.

Yeah, really.

[ That tone is resigned, to say the least. It's a shitty way to have to put things into perspective, but dying will do that to a guy. Speaking of which, he really should get back to that bucket list... Adding things to it or crossing things off; either or both, really.

Snorting and rolling his eyes, Eddie takes another sip of his coffee and then gets to his feet to continue his walk back to the apartment. He should probably find a job. This whole time, he's been freeloading on the local taxpayers' dollar because he's a registered Displaced Super but, shit, even Richie goes to work every day. ]

Beep beep, Richie. I'm heading back to the apartment. You need me to stop anywhere for something on my way back?

Yeah, something summery that I can wear on a stage. Might be MC-ing for an upcoming event soon.

[A beat.]

And Froot Loops. They’ve got those here, I checked.

What am I, your personal shopper? I meant groceries, dickwad.

[ But just for that, when Richie gets home, he'll almost definitely find an Old Navy dress hanging on the back of his door with a note attached saying,

"Is this about right? It's summery. Next time be more specific.
-Eds

He couldn't help himself, honestly, and Richie did sort of walk right into that one, in Eddie's defense. Eddie can get in a few good chucks of his own, now and again. ]

Froot Loops, I can do.

Well, should’ve been more specific then!

[Yeah, those words aren’t gonna bite him on the ass, definitely.]

Great. Hey, did you know, they never stopped making Dino Pebbles and that Nintendo cereal here?

I'll keep that in mind.

[ Definitely not. ]

Oh, for real? Shit, I can't remember the last time I had either of those. Is that your way of asking me to pick one or both of them up?

They added Pikachu to the Nintendo cereal, I can finally bite his cute little head off. Fuck yeah, you should buy them!

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